For such a time as this

The ancient city of Corinth was a wealthy trading center, located between major shipping lanes of the Corinthian Gulf and the Saronic Gulf.  It was also known throughout the Roman Empire as a wicked, immoral city.  Consequently the young church in Corinth struggled with worldliness and sin.  In Paul’s first letter to the church, he addresses one particular sinner:

It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife (or insert the sin of your choice).  You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.  For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present…I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.  (1 Cor 5:1-5)

But later, in his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the issue of this same man:

For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.  But if any (the immoral man) has caused sorrow…Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.  Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.  For to this end also I wrote, so that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things.  But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage may be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.  (2 Cor 2:4-11)

What are we to do?  Confront the sinner, put him out of fellowship, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh – not of his life, but the enslavement to the flesh that yields the fruit of the flesh (See Gal 5:19-21).  But why?  That his spirit may be saved.  And then what?  With great love and compassion, acknowledging that the removal and turning over to Satan is “sufficient.”  It is enough!   No more hurt or abuse or punishment or rejection is warranted.  On the contrary, you should forgive, comfort, reaffirm your love to such a one.  Why?  So he will not be overwhelmed with excessive grief.  Again why?  So our obedience to the command of forgiveness might be tested.  And so that Satan can find no advantage against us.

Of all the so-called advice I’ve received, precious little has passed the test of Scripture.  Instead, most of it has, according to this passage, fallen right into Satan’s hands:  Anger, vengeance, fear, selfishness, punishment, self-righteousness, unforgiveness.  Our anger and unforgiveness is simply a door that allows Satan entry into our lives.  He uses our self-righteousness against us, as is frequently evident. 

These passages best describe my response to my husband.  That I should rather forgive and love and comfort, such as I can, than to punish or hate or cast aside.  I fear for those whose arrogance – like the pharisee who, referring to the ’sinner’, proudly prayed, ‘Thank you God that I am not like one of them‘ – makes them think they are somehow better.  It will be their undoing.

I want wholeness, healing, redemption, restoration, unity.  I know that is the heart of God as well.  I realize it is up to Him; I am powerless but to plead mercy and pray, and hope that God hears my cries and the groanings in my spirit.  What hope there is in this life rests in God alone. 

I see God at work daily in my husband; I see repentence, healing, renewing of life and washing with the Word.  I see the glorious tranformation beginning in him – the same transformation I myself have experienced.  But I am the only one who sees it as I am the only one, it seems, obedient to the command of forgiveness, love and comfort.  That’s not pride talking, that’s simply reality.  I know there are others who claim forgiveness, but do they live it out according to God’s Word?

My despair is so complete, my isolation absolute – I feel utterly forsaken by friend and God himself.  I know His promise is that He will not leave me nor forsake me.  Oh, that I could feel that promise now.