TSA – 0; Constitution – 1

I read with great interest the stories this morning regarding Senator Rand Paul (KY) being ‘detained’ by the TSA.

At a Tennessee airport while en route to our nation’s Capital to participate in a Senate vote this afternoon at 4:30 PM, Senator Paul set off the scanner going through security.  A routine event he attributed to “a glitch.”  The scanner indicated he had metal on his leg; he lifted up his pant leg to show that he had no metal there and offered to go back through the scanner.  TSA screeners refused and demanded he submit to a pat-down, something the Senator has been vociferously against.  He was then escorted away and, if not detained, at least delayed until he booked a later flight and proceeded through the security scan without incident.

I found the incident itself aggravating – I personally will not fly because I passionately disagree with the purpose and tactics of the TSA and will not subject myself to illegal search and seizure*.  (I know I’m not the only person who has avoided air travel for this reason – I wonder if the airlines understood how much business they’re missing, if they would take action.  Hmmm.)  However, what I found most interesting, and frankly most encouraging about these articles were the comments.

American citizens over and over again sited Article 1, Section 6 of the US Constitution.  The CONSTITUTION!!  Our most sacred founding document!  Americans are not only reading it, they are applying it and, today, were passionately willing to use that document to hold the government accountable.  Yes!  I can barely contain my hope and enthusiasm.

The Article in question states: “The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.  They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.”

I realize the technicality is that Senator Paul wasn’t technically ‘arrested.’  The intent of the constitution, however, was to ensure that our representatives could not be delayed or in anyway prevented from attending to their responsibilities for the nation.  TSA screwed up today.  But their screw up could be another step toward our nation’s gain.

The major dissension between liberals and conservatives has to do with these simple questions:  Is the Constitution obsolete or is it relevant?  Is it time to abandon it or is it time to restore it?

The response today of citizens quoting that extraordinary and absolutely relevant document gives me hope that we will get the answer right.

*Amendment IV of the US Constitution states: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be searched.

 

 

Town Hall

I did my civic duty last night and attended a town hall meeting in Toledo with Oregon State Senator Jeff Merkley.  I was pleased to see it was a standing room only full house, and stood against the wall for some time until a chair nearby opened up.  Most attendees were residents of south Lincoln County (Toledo is on the south end of the county, so no surprise there), and based on the comments, were liberal Democrats, also no surprise.  Lincoln County is one of the more generally liberal counties in divided Oregon.  As a Constitutional Conservative, I often feel like an alien in a foreign land, but in the people I talk to out and about, and many of my acquaintances, I know I’m not alone in my views and my concerns.

I found myself shaking my head in astounded disbelief over and over again throughout the evening, and I’m sure my blood pressure rose to an unhealthy level.  The meeting was orderly, with a kind of lottery for the opportunity to comment.  Yes, I suspect that an actual open forum may have been louder and more disruptive, but I found this system to be insulting and incomplete.  The format wa,s 1) a voter asks a question, 2) the senator answers the question and occasionally, by a show of hands, asked for ‘feedback’.  Very orderly elementary school.

As a student of psychology and ‘attitude and opinion methodology’ or survey taking, I can tell you that how you phrase the question controls the response.  What Merkley was looking for was not honest feedback; it was spin and opinion shaping.

There was no opportunity for rebuttal, for follow-up questions, for challenges to his position or logic, or that of the constituents.  For example, one woman made the ridiculous statement that she thought “insurance companies shouldn’t be allowed to profit from people’s sickness’.  It, of course, received a hearty round of applause, but what a stupid statement.  No insurance company ever profits from their policyholders requiring expensive and chronic medical care.  I’m an insurance consultant and broker; I know a thing or two about health insurance.  The profit, and therefore the incentive, comes from promoting health and prevention.

Are there aspects of health care that need attention?  No doubt about it.  I feel like the bearer of bad news practically every day in trying to help people find the best insurance product for their situation.  I’m not a salesperson; I am a teacher and guide through the wilderness for most of my clients.  The senator mentioned physician retirements and a forthcoming lack of qualified providers.  I deal often with the reality that good, caring doctors are leaving the profession, not because the are retirement age, but because they can no longer afford malpractice insurance (tort reform), and they are sinking under the regulations and reduced compensation from Medicare and Medicaid (Medicare reform).  Rural general practice physicians cannot afford to keep their clinic doors open.  Seniors, who are reaching retirement age at record numbers, are going to experience a frightening lack of physicians to care for them in their elder years.  The physician equation is just one point of this multi-pronged issue.

As an insurance consultant and broker, my job is to, a) educate my clients about insurance so that they feel confident to make an informed decision; b) understand their situation well enough to narrow down the hundreds of options to those few that will best suit their needs and budget; c) facilitate securing the insurance, and d) following through with any service issues later.  For the vast majority of cases, that service is entirely free to the client.  The federal and state governments are presuming to become my biggest competitors.  Obamacare, as it is commonly known, through the formation of insurance exchanges, is trying to take over my role in the process.  They’re trying to put me out of business.  When has the federal government ever performed better than private industry?

That’s one example.  Another is the typical sentiment from an educator that more money needs to be thrown at a failing education system because class sizes are too big.  Okay, that wasn’t exactly how he phrased his question, but I don’t disagree that class sizes are too big; that was one of many reasons why I chose to homeschool my daughter.  The bigger reason was that I knew I could do a better job educating her than the state could.  Merkley’s response was to end the war in Afghanistan and spend that money instead on education.  More applause from the crowd; more gag reflex from me.  Seriously?  First, throwing more money at a failed system is not the way to fix a failed system.  Second, had any of these people considered the fact that our debt, including unfunded liabilities and entitlements, is now more than 100% of GDP?  We don’t produce enough as a nation in a year to cover just that portion of our nation’s expenditures.  That’s not even including the trillion-plus annual deficit in our non-existent federal budget!  How about this idea?  We end the war in Afghanistan and instead use that money to pay our creditors?

And of course there was the indignant statement that Social Security is not an entitlement; the money belongs to the seniors who have been paying into the system their entire working lives.  Yes. I agree with that statement.  Surprised?  I pay into Social Security every month, and actually I pay more than most because I am self-employed; I pay both the employee and employer portion all by my little lonesome.  I also recognize that it is a government sponsored Ponzi scheme even Mr. Ponzi would be awed by, and at age 47, I have no doubt that the pyramid will have come crashing down well before I ever see a dime from Social Security.

The constituent asked the senator to respond to ‘raids on the Social Security Trust Fund.’  That phrase always causes me to pause, primarily because the word Trust is involved.  His response was total spin (I came so close to losing my Mac and Cheese at this point).  He said there were three options for those funds: a) store the money in an account somewhere and never touch it; b) invest in the safest possible investment, US Treasury Bonds; or c) invest in the riskiest of all investments, stocks.  Well, of course, congress would choose the safest possible investment.  He even acknowledged that US Treasury Bonds are paying next to nothing in returns (Whatever, dude).  Okay, where do I begin?  I must give him credit for his artistry; he was indeed impressive.  The subtle tones and turns of phrases – anyone who questioned or disagreed would have appeared the cad or ignoramus.

Can we consider for a moment that “investing in US Treasury Bonds” is, in reality, loaning money?  Can we also consider that the US Government is a bad risk?.  Our credit rating has been reduced, our debt level is impossibly, unsustainably high, and that the government, short of printing money out of thin air – which has the inevitable effect of significantly devaluing the currency – has absolutely NO WAY of paying those debts back?  How is that possibly a safe investment?  So not only is there NO CASH in the non-existent Social Security Trust Fund, in its place are virtually worthless pieces of paper – IOUs from a government that is nearly insolvent.

Oh, that there could have been an actual discussion and debate of the real issues, instead of magic brownies (I didn’t eat one because I was afraid that whatever was happening to the others would happen to me.  Eeeeeee.) and Kool-aid drinking sheeple.

God help our Republic.

Reality Check 1/9/2012

A friend recently referred to me as her ‘politically well-informed friend.’  Truth – I keep up with not just the mainstream news, but also those sources that challenge conventional wisdom and politically correct punditry.  The MSM is drinking Kool-Aid.  The things they peg as news and the conclusions they come to, in my humble view, defy reason.  They begin with the presupposition that the average American citizen is of below average intelligence.  Wrong.  Given the facts, we are more than capable of coming to our own conclusions.  Problem is, the conclusions we come to are often not the ones we’re being spoon fed.

Some examples:

Anthropogenic Global Warming – Al Gore has made millions from pseudo-science that has reached the point of religious fervor.  Anyone who does not buy into catastrophic man-caused global warming is not debated in an intelligent, civil manner – after all, science is about the search for truth through debate and study, is it not?  No.  If you disagree with the ‘consensus’ (according to Merriam-Webster, the definition of Consensus is 1a: general agreement : unanimity , b: the judgment arrived at by most of those concerned), you are rejected, vilified, your intelligence is called into question.  This is not science; it is zealous religion!  There is no consensus on anthropogenic climate change.  If the purpose of science is to follow Truth to its unbiased opinion, the debate is still active.  If in doubt, here are 1,000 references to Global Cooling.

Unemployment is Down - Really?  If the Obama administration says it, the MSM regurgitates it as gospel.  According to the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment numbers are reported as 8.5% of the working age population.  According to the Wall Street Journal, “The unemployment rate is calculated based on people who are without jobs, who are available to work and who have actively sought work in the prior four weeks. The “actively looking for work” definition is fairly broad, including people who contacted an employer, employment agency, job center or friends; sent out resumes or filled out applications; or answered or placed ads, among other things. The rate is calculated by dividing that number by the total number of people in the labor force.” [emphasis added]

Put more clearly (and honestly), also from the Wall Street Journal, “the unemployment rate is not “how many people don’t  have jobs?”, but “how many people don’t have jobs and are actively  looking for them?” Let’s say you’ve been looking fruitlessly for five  months and realize you’ve exhausted every job listing in your area.  Discouraged, you stop looking, at least for the moment. According to the  government, you’re no longer unemployed. Congratulations?”

Considering people who are a) able to work, b) want to work, c) are working part-time but want to work full-time, or d) are working in low-skill or low-pay jobs simply because that’s all they could get, and using apples-to-apples comparison of the number of eligible workers, the real unemployment rate is more like 20%   22.4%, 22.7%.

Economic Recovery – Again, really?  Fourth quarter 2011 GDP numbers were up (3.2%) for one very specific reason – Christmas.  The administration touts these numbers as a sign of great gains.  Clearly November/December are not the norm of consumer purchasing compared with the rest of the year (I feel a ‘duh’ coming on).  So looking at third quarter 2011 and estimations for Q1 2012, we get a slightly different picture.  According to the Philadelphia Fed’s own forecasters, real GDP grew only 1.7% (1.8%) in 2011.  At the same time, personal income has been essentially stagnant while inflation continues to rise.  Again, the administration is reporting inflation according to one formula at 3.4%.  Real inflation includes food, energy and a few other items -  you know, everyday things that we average Americans purchase month in and month out, that the government’s numbers no longer include. Inflation rates for food and energy (4.6% and 12.4%, respectively) are substantially higher than the official rate.

Of greater concern are the forecasts for 2012.  Greg Hunter, quoting from ShadowStats, says “The sharp increases in December energy and food prices were not due to normal price volatility in those areas, instead, they were created directly by Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke’s ongoing push to debase the U.S. dollar — to destroy the purchasing value of the U.S. currency” [emphasis added].  This is the big concern going into 2012: Hyperinflation and worldwide recession and/or economic depression.  USDA estimates of CPI for food prices shows inflation as high as 10%.

Goldman Sach’s October 2011 White Paper, “Outlook for the US Economy” is conservative in spouting the party line, yet it seems to state and simultaneously discount the very factors that are potential sources of concern.  It mentions the EU crisis, yet discounts its potential impact.  It counts the potential of additional Fed intervention as a positive while predicting no such additional stimulus: “Given the fiscal outlook remains difficult, we believe we’re unlikely to get further stimulus, and that government will continue to be a modest drag on growth.”  Great line, “a modest drag on growth.”  If our beloved government would get out of the way of business, there would be no drag on growth.

Reality Check - Here are some things for the average – quite competently intelligent – American citizen to consider:  What is the source of information and what is their agenda?  Think for yourselves, and then get ready.  There may be food on the shelves, but if you are under- or un-employed, or if food and commodity prices are inflating, or if the value of the dollar has been diminished because of Fed ‘Quantitative Easing’, what good will it do if you can’t afford to buy it?  And if energy prices are rising at a higher rate of inflation than anything else, and the globe is in fact cooling, it’s going to cost even more to heat your home.

The Rule of Low Expectations

The Rule of Low Expectations is a valuable lesson I’ve learned over my life.  Where others are concerned, expect little – not little by way of honesty and integrity, but in terms of performance.  It is not their job to meet my unreasonable expectations any more than it is my job to meet theirs.

The Rule of Low Expectations is all about Acceptance with Grace. It’s about loving people for who they are and where they are in their lives, extending grace in their griefs, weaknesses, and struggles, as well as their victories, and simply accepting them.

Setting high expectations, especially when others are struggling, is setting them and ourselves up for failure and disappointment.  From those nasty things come anger and animosity.

But the Rule of Low Expectations opens the door to delightful surprise!  Take this Christmas as an example.  My highest expectation was that I would spend the holiday weekend working on plumbing for my home remodel.  And I would have been absolutely content if that had consumed the entire time.  So imagine my delight when my ‘other parents’, Barbara and Berne Mesman, and my ‘big sis’ Michelle Michaelis and her husband Rick, informed me that they were spending Christmas just a few miles from me.  What started as an impromptu visit with the dearest of people turned into one of the loveliest and most loving Christmas Eve’s I’ve had in years!  Or when a drive-by-hugging turned into a quiet tea time with my most precious friend Patsy.  Or, when an informal, hastily organized family get-together turned into a wonderful time of laughter, tears, stories, and hugs with my wonderful Bright family.

All expectations blown out of the water, and I didn’t get a single minute of plumbing done and that’s just fine.

Why I’m Here

I have spent Spring and Summer fully devoted to building by home.  Nearly all of my postings have been on the other blog and have everything to do with progress reports and photos. 

The other thing I’ve been working on is research and preparation for what I see on the horizon.  Much of what I’m doing with the house is to facilitate that preparation – a new root cellar cold storage room to preserve and store food without refrigeration; a wood-burning cookstove that will heat the house, cook food, and heat water without electricity or gas; a wood shed entry way that will hold over two cords of firewood at a time.  The Lord instructed me to build an ark, a place of refuge, because a mighty storm is coming.  I see the clouds forming on the horizon and I know time is running short – and there is so much yet to do.

The title of this blog is “For Such a Time as This.” I started this blog shortly after my son Nathan died nearly five years ago – Thanksgiving 2006.  At first it was a way to process the grief of that life-altering event.  So much has happened since that day, much of it even more devastating and life-altering (It’s hard for a parent to imagine that there’s anything more crushing than zipping your beloved child into a body bag.)

I’ve often asked God why He has allowed me to walk through so much loss in such a short period, not as a ‘why me’ whine, but in an earnest inquiry of, ‘God, what is Your purpose in all this?’  I know I have learned so much about forgiveness, integrity, honor, faithfulness, and perseverance that I would not know otherwise.  I also realize this is all preparation for something greater. 

I also know that I am here, at this time, at this place, for such a time as this.  There has been no other time in history like the one in which we are living.  It is no accident of evolution that I am here now.  It is entirely by God’s sovereign and omniscient design, and part of His plan since before the foundation of the world.  The same is true of all of us.

So as I move into this new chapter of my life, it is with a keen awareness of this unique time, the freshly minted lessons of character and strength and resilience, and the amazing depth of faith that the past five years have refined and cemented.

“She is not afraid of the future, for her household is clothed in scarlet.”

I do not fear the future, although it will not be an easy one for anyone, and as much as I can help others prepare for and meet that future with courage, I will do so.  It’s the reason I’m here.

Storm Warning to Family & Friends

To my family and friends;

 I have long been motivated by a personal desire to be self-reliant.  That is a big part of my reason for remaining at Covenant Creek despite many devastating and painful changes to my life these past few years.  I’m not a survivalist and I’m not interested in living a radical ‘off-grid’ lifestyle – I want to still have time and energy to enjoy my life, not just work all the time (although some may consider life on the land to be too much work).

 I am also deeply interested in history and the lessons therein.  It was Sir Edmund Burke who wisely said, “Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it.”  This is the reason for this letter.  There are patterns in history, particularly in Western societies, that are now being repeated but at a much more significant pace and level.  Understanding what is on the horizon, I know that I would live with deep regret if my family and friends came to me in the future and asked, “If you knew this was going to happen, why didn’t you warn us?”

So, you have my permission to think of me as a kook, misguided, or paranoid; I don’t care.  I know that I am none of those things and sadly I’ve become accustomed to people believing things about me that are not true.  What I do care about is my family, each and every one of them, and the precious friends that bless my life.  There are very difficult times coming and there will be two responses:  One is to ignore it and be caught off guard and therefore become a victim of circumstances.  The other is to pay attention to the signs and prepare, and therefore be part of the solution.  I choose to be the latter and I hope you will too.

It begins with money and the wealth of nations, or more accurately, the debt of nations. Greece is on the verge of sovereign bankruptcy and several European nations are not far behind.  What is most disturbing is that theUS financial situation is far more grave.  When the first country fails, there will be a shudder, but not an immediate catastrophe.  However, once the first domino falls, the rest are not going to be far behind.  All of these governments have become dependent on debt to support their governments and populations; theUS most of all. 

 Historically, treasuries have printed money (called fiat currency) to pay back loans made in the form of bonds.  The consequence of that is a devaluing of currency.  We are seeing that already with the QE1 and 2 (“Quantitative Easing”) programs.  What has most typically happened historically is this practice of printing fiat currency not backed by some tangible asset (most often gold) leads to hyperinflation.  In pre-WWII Germany, the Weimar Republic experienced such astounding hyperinflation that people would pay for their coffee when they ordered it, because the price would have risen dramatically by the time they finished the cup.  Germans would leave work as soon as the stores opened with wheelbarrows full of money just to buy basic necessities.  As recently as 2009, Zimbabwe was dealing with hyperinflation at the rate of 231 million %.  And we think 5% inflation is steep!  The principal of hyperinflation is not only possible, it is probable and it is a very recent phenomenon.  Quoted from Goldonomic, an international wealth management organization: “Denial comes before panic sets in! Hyperinflation is a monetary phenomenon and Demand is not a factor pushing up prices.  Prices go up because the value of the Fiat paper money is falling as more and more is created…In Zimbabwe stores don’t even have goods on the shelves, people are hungry, there is no water, no electricity, no public transportation, gas is sold on the black market and large quantities of paper money confiscated…and yet the Stock market keeps soaring…”

Once the currency is devalued, commodity prices begin to rise.  Beef prices are rising simply because grain prices have gone up.  People are selling off, and even giving away, expensive horses because it’s too expensive to feed them.  Anything made with grain particularly is going to be affected – from cold cereal to ethanol fuel.  Once fuel costs are impacted – which could be from our nation’s inability to pay Saudis and other hostile suppliers (or their unwillingness to sell to us), coupled with our government’s refusal seek energy self-sufficiency by opening drilling and exploration of our own fuel resources – things are going to get ugly.  Food is transported long distances, therefore no fuel – no food.

A few years ago, I participated in a local foods task force in which we studied the food security of our community.  I live in a small coastal town with a tourism-based economy.  The full-time population is about 7,000; that population swells in summer months when almost a million visitors pass through the area.  Due to a number of circumstances, including location away from main transportation corridors, regional topography, availability and production of local farms, we learned that on the off-season, our community had about a week’s worth of food.  During tourist season that drops to two or three days!  If the store shelves aren’t replenished by trucked-in food, then the shelves are empty and people go hungry very quickly.  It’s not outrageous to predict the behavior of mobs of hungry people.

I could give examples ad infinitum.  The point is this: A wise person prepares for the storm before the rain starts.

This is what I recommend:

• If you have money in the stock market (including mutual funds), get it out.  Get it out soon.  Any investment that is dependent on currency should be considered high-risk.
• If you have large sums in banks or other financial institutions, particularly those covered under the federal deposit guarantees (FDIC, etc), consider this:  There is no massive pool of money somewhere that is going to pay out up to $250,000 per depositor (350 million US citizens) in the event of mass bank defaults.  Those deposits are guaranteed solely and exclusively by the “Full Faith and Credit of the United States Government.”  Just how much faith and credit do you think the US Government still has, or will have when the economy collapses?
• Convert assets to tangibles, specifically those things that would have value as an alternate currency.  Tangibles may include metals such as gold and silver (coins for alternate currency, bullion for wealth ‘storage’).  Recently the price of silver dropped as large quantities were dumped into the market and is therefore much more affordable than gold.  In addition, historically silver typically performs more consistently than gold, which is much more volatile.   Other tangibles include anything that would be of value in a barter economy, such as ammunition, food, and consumable products (Imagine how valuable a roll of toilet paper might become!). 
• Be prepared to feed and shelter yourself, your family, and others if necessary.  Have long-term food storage, extra water, and personal care items on hand.  Emergency Essentials (www.beprepared.com) and www.foodinsurance.com are two companies that I have done business with.
• Be aware that you may need to defend yourself and those in your care, as well as any resources you may have.  Consider owning (and knowing how to use) firearms and have sufficient ammunition on hand.
• Learn as much as you can about history, the US Constitution, and practical, useful, marketable skills. 
• Don’t expect or rely upon the government to support you or to rescue you – or anyone else for that matter.  Those who could have prepared but chose not to are not likely to be looked kindly upon.  Determine to be self-sufficient and personally responsible, and at the same time, be as generous as possible with those in genuine need. 
• Get to know your neighbors and/or connect with local like-minded individuals with whom you can share support and assistance should it become necessary.
• If you live in a city, consider what food and safety issues might arise, and consider either relocating to a more rural area or what alternatives may be available should it become necessary to relocate in a crisis.

My objective is not to frighten anyone or elicit panic – neither is productive nor helpful.  Please remember that I share these thoughts with you out of deep love and concern for your well-being and your future.  The trick to being prepared is to consider all potentialities and take steps to mitigate those that are most likely to occur.  If you’ve been paying attention to the signs, this is most likely a review of things you’ve already thought about.  If not, this may be the first warning.  If nothing else, I hope this gives you food for thought and a topic for discussion among those you most care about.

The world is going to change and it will most likely change quite suddenly; that does not mean we need be fatalistic.  We have a strong foundation in our Constitution; we are a courageous and resilient people.  Americans always do best when our backs are against the wall.  I expect that to continue.

If you have any questions or would like to discuss these issues further, I am available any time.  

All my love,

JoDana

Rain Showers

For the past month or so, I have been tending to my heart, soaking in the presence and vast, immeasurable love and healing of my almighty Father.  That has meant a lot of time alone, one-on-one time with a few friends, long beach walks with my dog.

It has also meant not attending corporate worship services.  I am truly grateful for my church.  These loving people opened their arms to me when my world literally came crashing down and I was seeing everything and everyone I loved ripped from me in violent, devastating fashion.  The flood of brokeness and betrayal that washed over me then was crushing in its relentlessness.

Scripture instructs, “Do not forsake the assembling of the saints.” We are to meet with one another to edify and encourage, to teach and learn, to help one another.  I think in our culture we think that ‘assembling of the saints’ means Sunday morning church.  However, in the early church, ‘Church’ was anytime the brethren were together, be it for a meal, prayer, exhortation, etc.

I saw a youtube video recently that was a parody of contemporary worship services, but it was dead-on accurate.  I’ve been to that church.  It’s not my church – they’re more down to earth than that – but there have been very few times in my life when I left a Sunday morning service having been spiritually fed.  So I’ve rarely attended church services for that reason. 

Lately, rather than sit in a pew and be less than half-hearted, I decided rather to be with God alone with my whole heart.  Spending that time with God, just listening, worshiping Him with my labors, obediently pursuing what He’s called me to do. letting Him mold and shape my life has been the best ‘church’ I could ask for.

I’ve been sitting in the warm, cleansing refresh

Reeling

On  my drive home from Pendleton Sunday I reflected on the cost of trusting people.  The greatest pain I’ve experienced in my life has been at the hands of the people closest to me, the people I trusted and loved the most.  Monday morning I shared with a friend that it is very difficult for me, very risky to let people in now and trust them, not to mention allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Later that morning the Lord allowed me to be in another situation where my resolve to forgive was put to the test.  Friends that are very close, that I have taken that risk and let in to the tender places of my heart hit me with something that sent me reeling.

I learned that the healing I thought my heart was feeling was really just a big scab and that scab was ripped off, and once again by people I trusted.  I doubt very much if they have the slightest clue how much their actions and insensitivity hurt me, what a deep offense and betrayal it is to my heart.  I trusted them and they lied to me.  Forgiveness is immediate – it is a decision.  Healing takes a lot longer.

Yet the Lord blessed me Tuesday morning.  A sister came and shared her heart with me and witnessed to me what she sees in my heart and life.  She sees the Lord with me, covering me, filling me.  She reminded me that I am never alone.  Later two more loving sisters came and blessed me.  My heart is deeply wounded again – the emotional flood of all the hurt of the past 4 years has come crashing down and sent me tumbling, yet He is holding my head above the waves.

Thank you, Papa.  I hurt and I know You know.

What is Love? Part 2

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness – If to be righteous is to be upright, just, and virtuous, then unrighteousness is to be wicked, sinful, evil, unfair and unjust.  Capital L love does not rejoice or celebrate, or even tolerate or enable, acts of unrighteousness from themselves or others.  That does not mean reject the person, but it does mean to reject the acts.  Love is to live by a higher standard and encourage others, by example and admonition, to do likewise, rejoicing in everything that is righteous.

Love rejoices with the truth – I like the statement “The Truth has no Agenda.”  The truth is simply the truth.  It is not in any way dependent upon circumstance or outlook or personal experience and that’s a hard thing for us oft-deceived people.  Being faced with Truth sometimes means confronting the lies we tell ourselves, including the lies that our sins are somehow good or pleasant or necessary.  God is Truth.  All things of God are Truth.  That is worthy of rejoicing.

Love bears all things – The word ‘bear’ -not counting the animal – has something like 26 definitions!  Therefore, the depth of meaning to the phrase ‘Love bears all things’ is profound.  Love holds up and supports all things; Love remains firm in all things; Love brings forth all things; Love is capable, firm, steadfast, suffers and undergoes, guides, accepts, possesses all things; Love is unyielding in all things.  No matter the suffering, injuring, or wound, Love bears all things.

Love believes all things -Not in a gullible, easily swayed or deceived matter.  Not at all.  It is to have deep, abiding confidence that God is, that He is real, reliable, trustworthy, Good, and that what He says is what He wants for me.  It is trusting that when He says He will work all things for our good, that’s exactly what He means.  Or when He says He knows the plans He has for me, to give me a future and a hope, that too is exactly what He means.

Love hopes all things – I know what it is to be utterly without hope.  I know what it is to look into the future and see nothing but blackness and it is the most terrifying of all places.  Hope is the belief that there is something ahead worth striving for, worth enduring for, worth living for.  To be without hope is to have no vision, no possibilities, no future.  God is hope – He is our future.  Trusting all to Him is the beginning of hope.

Love endures all things – Love is the most difficult of things.  To love we must be open and to be open makes us vulnerable.  Love hurts – a lot! Those we love are unfaithful, disappointing, hurtful, spiteful, deceived and deceitful – as are we – yet True Love endures it all.  It holds fast, it sustains without yielding.  It is faithful, sure, steady, unswayed, and undiminished.

Love never fails!

Amen.

(1 Cor 13:4-8a)

Survivalism vs Homemaking

In the past, when I had a family, I often wrote about how being a homemaker, full-time wife and mother, homeschool teacher, and homesteader were the most meaningful, satisfying, joy-filled, and enriching aspects of my life.  Having been the high-rise big-city business woman and the suburban two-income commuting couple, nothing gave me greater joy than being home, baking bread, sewing quilts, teaching algebra and history, and loving my husband every day.

It has been unthinkably difficult to lose so much of that life and those loved ones.  My struggle has been trying to identify what it was about that life that I loved and to try to capture in a new way those parts of it that I could reasonably keep.  Perhaps that’s why I throw myself so heartily into farming and building my home, making it mine, and trying to build a new life around some of those domestic agrarian ideals.

I have also been working a lot this year on becoming more self-reliant – Looking for ways to be less dependent on ‘the grid’, growing and storing more food, using the well more than city water, etc. -  at the same time realizing how fragile our social, economic, and political systems are and wanting to be prepared for what’s likely to come.

A friend calls himself a ‘frustrated survivalist.’  We’ve had several conversations about things like food storage, preparing for emergencies, hunting, security, looking out for our neighbors.  I’ve said recently that I’m not a survivalist, I’m a ‘perseverer.’  I want to do more than just survive: I have and will continue to persevere through hard times and good.

This afternoon I was doing some research on combination wood/gas cook stoves.  Most of the time I have natural gas and heated water.  But there are times when the power goes out and those things become unreliable.  I don’t have a furnace – and don’t want one – and I currently heat with wood, so I thought a wood-burning cook stove that also functions as a water heater would be an interesting idea.  But I’m also lazy sometimes and being able to just turn on a gas burner is also appealing.  See, I don’t want to be totally off-grid, but I want to be able to function comfortably should the grid fail.

Anyway, in my searching I found a blog, Granny Miller, that talks about this issue of being survival minded vs being self-reliant.  Everything that I have been passionate about for so many years is epitomized in being a homestead homemaker.  It is very frustrating to me that I’m the only one here now and all that love and stewardship sometimes seems to go to waste.  What am I doing it all for now?  Or for whom?  The fact that I can no longer be a housewife, that I must earn my wages and not just work for the love of my family and their care and comfort, is something that I struggle with often.  Still, I appreciate profoundly the author’s article and her high opinion of that role that I long to experience again.

I know many women who want to return to that simple, purposeful life of homemaker – working at home, providing for all those essential services, filling the needs of their family because it is woman’s highest calling.   The absence of those vital skills in our culture is the very reason that make this whole survivalism/prepper movement necessary.  Our culture has lost those skills.  We as a society no longer esteem the high calling of women to be keepers/workers of the home – cooking, growing, preserving, sewing, being productive in home industry, self-reliant, independent.

It is my prayer that the Lord allows me to work toward a place of being able to support myself financially with my home industry, that I will once again – in some way or other – return to a semblance of the life that I love so very much.  A simple life.  A purposeful life.  A self-reliant life.